Ben Richard & Rea Mae Clodfelter Whicker have been married for more than SIXTY years! Keep up with their happenings, and view some slideshows of their lives. Post notes and memories about them!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Seeing Through A Glass Darkly
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Family Memories Entries Please!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Whicker Winter Family Party 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas!
Friday, October 22, 2010
a little history
The moves we made for the first 7 years of our marriage were usually because of the Air Force. However, we moved many times while we were stationed at one base, always hoping to find a better place to live. We were the lowest in pay scale, and at that time, air conditioning was only available in the houses owned by wealthy people. Most of the rental homes around a base did not even have a foundation of cement, but rather wood studs, or whatever you call them. This allowed many, many cockroaches and other disgusting insects to get into our houses, especially in the kitchen. I will give you a few such situations.
Gpa was going to Flight Engineer School at Rantoul AFB, Illinois in 1953. When we moved from Rantoul to Champaign (just a few miles apart) it was because of large, overgrown, sick flies! We lived in a small lean-to that was built onto some kind of a business; seems like maybe it had to do with mechanics working there, or something. We had a small bedroom, which also served as a living room, a bathroom that had a door so narrow that when I was 6 months pregnant with our Rea Jo, I began to have to somehow twist through the door instead of just walking through it! The kitchen was tiny...that's all the rooms we had. The wood around the large picture window in the living/bedroom was rotting and full of holes, and we could watch the termites entering and leaving this favorite abode of theirs!
We adjusted to the termites and we didn't have to live there in the winter, so it wasn't too miserable.....UNTIL, one night when I got up to make a trip to the bathroom, with bare feet, I stepped on something that crunched and was also mooshy. I screamed and Grandpa jumped up and turned on the light to see what was wrong. (Now this is no exaggeration, although it will definitely sound like a Halloween story!) As we looked down at the floor, horrified, we saw literally hundreds if not thousands of larger than normal and slower than normal, black crawling flies. They covered our floors, our kitchen cabinets, sinks and everything that wasn't in a cupboard or drawer!
They couldn't fly. Obviously, they were somehow diseased or disabled. More and more of them seemed to be slowly emerging, congregating on the floors, so we followed their direction (backwards) until we found that they were coming from a hole in the baseboard near our back door! Every time I remember this incident, I still cringe. We left the apartment (?) and went to the store to purchase some poison spray. We sprayed into the hole and all over the house to kill them. After quite awhile, they stopped coming out of the hole. We gathered up our belongings (which were not much at that time) and immediately went to Champaign and rented a two room apartment in the upstairs of a very nice house, where we stayed until we were assigned to Randolph AFB, Texas.
We bought our own home in Bowers Beach, Delaware, and it was the happiest time of my life before we moved to Utah. We joined the church there in 1959, and our 5th child was born, so it was a huge turning point in our life. I dreamed of being back there many times, especially whenever trials came up in my life. It was as if my heart and mind thought that if I was back there in Bowers Beach, all the problems would be solved! It was always the same dream, and my joy was so great in the dream that I didn't want to wake up, even though I evidently knew it was a dream!
In the Spring of 1963, a major hurricane hit the beach area. I will never forget that morning. Grandpa was on a trip. The kids were just beginning to get up and start getting ready for school and/or the day. I went to the back window and looked out at the swampy area that was just beyond our back yard, and saw the water creeping up at a pretty fast rate, coming toward our house. I ran back up to the front of the house, yelled upstairs that we might have to leave, so they needed to hurry and get dressed. Immediately, I took another look at the back yard and was astounded at how far the water had advanced since my last look, so I RAN to the stairway again and hollered, "Never mind your clothes, just put your shoes on and come down to the car!" The quickly obeyed. Our car sat near the front door on the highest ground of our property, but when I opened the front door, the wind nearly knocked me over and I knew that only the 2 oldest children could possibly stand up in that wind, as the water was now up to the middle of the hubcaps on the car! I carried each child, one at a time, to the car. Rea Jo and Glenn had to also have my help, but I didn't have to completely carry them. I hung on to the support at the corner of the porch and then grabbed for the car door so that I could stay standing in the wind, and in the deep water I had to wade through. We ended up staying with a neighbor whose house sat on higher land, as we couldn't get out of town because of the deep water on the road. Our furnace was ruined in the flood. (It was a floor furnace) We didn't have the money to replace it, so we sold the house and moved in to Base Housing. That was a very sad day for us.
Side Note: Grandma and Grandpa Clodfelter were listening to the radio as the storm progressed when it was announced that a family in Bowers Beach with 5 children had drowned. Since it was pretty unusual for families to have that many children, and because there was no phone in service so that I could call them, they thought it must be our family. So, it was a pretty panicky time for them.
(3) Grandpa is not sure whether he told you this, so this may be a repeat. In 1964, Gpa was up for reenlistment, and had made the decision to stay in the AF 4 years longer. While he was flying on the day he was to sign the papers, he suddenly had the very plain inspiration that we were to NOT stay in the AFB, but get out and go to Utah. He came home that day, announced to me that we were getting out, and we started packing. He had no job, no insurance, no place to live in Colorado or Utah, but we knew it was right.
Why did we stop moving when we got to Kaysville? Because I was sick of moving! Also, because I fell in love with our house in Kaysville, as soon as I saw it for the first time. Even though Grandpa was worried about making a house payment that was a whole $20 more than the rent we had been paying in Centerville, he knew how I loved the house, and so he asked for a raise, got it, and we moved. It was such a wonderful day, and there's no doubt that THIS is my favorite place of all! Grandpa had to commute a lot to get where he was actually based for many years, but I had told him when we bought the house that I never wanted to move again....I wanted to be buried right here! He worked hard to honor that desire!
Well, that was probably a lot more than you wanted, but maybe some of it will be appropriate for your paper!
Love you, Lyndz!
Gma
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Conf.
This morning, early, Glenn and Dad/Gpa got up and went flying in Glenn's plane. They went over Zion's and around. Now it is time for Conference. I am really looking forward to watching all of Conference this weekend.The Spirit is always so strong.
John and Ryanne are having serious water problems over at their house. Barely getting a little water occasionally until last night, then we had to have the water turned off completely, because we found out that the water meter is still running.....which means that there is at least a chance that water is running constantly somewhere, causing expense without the benefit of water in the house. It is such a mystery! Anyone have any ideas? WHY is it that every time we come to St. George, we have water problems of some sort at home???
Chuck, I have told them that they could come to our house for showers if they need to. They think they can get by for a few days until we can find the problem, so they probably won't be doing that, but just wanted you to know of the possibility.
Jeff, thanks so much for helping us with this problem. And Lynda, thank you for sending my forgotten flashdrive, camera and exterior back up disk. Sorry to have caused you both so much extra time and effort.
Often, as I am listening to a speaker, if I am blessed with the Spirit I find that truths come to my mind that are NOT what the speaker is saying, but are for my own particular learning. I can recognize these times because at each instance, I am able to comprehend all that is being spoken perfectly while simultaneously hearing the words for my own instruction. This morning, during Conference, Pres. Uchtdorf spoke of being sensitive to the needs of others. That concept led me to think of an instance recently in my life. I evidently said something one morning in a voice that was NOT sensitive to the feelings of my husband. I noticed all through the morning that he felt "down". Later that day, he said he was sorry for the times when he 'disgusted' me. Having no idea what had brought these thoughts to him, and not remembering being disgusted with him at all, I asked him when the last time was that I sounded disgusted. He said that it was that morning, but he couldn't remember what I had said or what it was about! I tried and tried to think what it could have been, and he did too, but nothing came.
Knowing that I have often said things that sounded different than I intended, I knew this was one of those times. I also knew that whatever had transpired was not at all the important
thing.........only my tone of voice had caused the pain in his heart. I would not have caused him that kind of pain for anything, IF I HAD JUST CONSIDERED THE SOUND OF MY WORDS BEFORE I SPOKE!
I've heard other spouses speak or act in uncaring and unfeeling ways to their mate, and I'm sure they didn't mean to appear that way at all. I have felt the hurt that has caused their spouse, although no verbal complaint was made on their part. It is then that I know I must change my own way of speaking and acting in all incidences. I intend to consider how my words sound before I speak, and how my actions will 'speak' before I act. I want to know that my words and actions speak only tenderness and caring, no matter the situation.
I also want to apologize and ask forgiveness for the times I am sure I have seemed thoughtless to all of you in my family. Please bear with me as I strive to overcome this weakness! I know there is absolutely no rigihteous reason for sounding or acting as if the other person, especially spouses and children, are not the most important thing in the world to me, because all of you are just that! If we can speak kindly to others outside our home and family, then obviously we can find a way to speak that way to our most beloved ones!
I wanted to share that with you, and tell you all that I love you very much.
Love,
Mom/Gma
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, Sept. 26, 2010
I received a letter from Alaina this week with her testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was truly a gift to me; and I have since had a strong desire to let you all know of my love for you, and because I love you, let you know of my own testimony and my yearning for your real joy in life, along with asking your tolerance in my own weaknesses as I have journeyed and will continue to journey along my own path.
In church today, which happened to be our Ward Conference, I learned so much! I felt the Spirit more strongly than I have for months (which of course, I lacked only because of my own doing and choices) and it was such a welcome cleansing for me. I felt purely and sweetly the strong love that my Heavenly Father has for our children, their children, their children's children, and for Dad and me. I felt overwhelmingly grateful for the gift of our family and the individual gifts that each of you has brought with you. What a blessing you have all been in our lives!
I felt such incredible joy (it kept leaking out)! In Alma 26:11 Ammon explains that he was "swallowed up in the joy of his God" and that this is the kind of joy which none can receive save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness.....and I felt all of that - swallowed up in joy AND the blessed relief of repentance in my heart AND such a desire to more diligently seek the happiness that I know is available to all of us.
Happiness was the theme of our Ward Conference. I had silently offered a prayer before we left that our special speaker today would be Bishop Lundstrom, as there is no one from whom I draw more understanding as he talks. He did talk, and I felt as though Heavenly Father had anticipated my prayer as preparations were made for this conference.
I seemed to actually "visualize", as it were, the importance and great need for the plan of happiness which has been authored by God and Christ. How I wish I could just transfer my feelings into each of your hearts! I know that Jesus Christ lived and lives. I know that His love and our Father's love are so much more than we can possibly experience as mortals............I also know that is probably a good thing, as even the depth of what I experienced yesterday was almost too much to bear!
I know that the Holy Bible and the Book of Mormon testify of each other. Together they give us each personal solutions that are far beyond our own wisdom and knowledge. I know that a whole lifetime of studying and researching other "words of wisdom" cannot possibly give us the strength of character and the wisdom we need to choose the paths that lead to the happiness we all seek. Only our Heavenly Father and His Son know the beginning from the end, and our happiness is their very purpose.
There is a multitude of things I do NOT know. As Alma said, “I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom, but behold my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God." And I have a great desire to continue to learn and grow and be of some service to my loved ones.
I want you all to know that when and if you ever have doubts about any of my beliefs, I only ask that you only pray with full intent to know. The guidance of our Father will never, never lead us in opposing paths, even if we perceive that it seems so at times. Therefore, the "end" will be as the "beginning" -- unity in love and purpose -- for all of us.
Jesus Christ atoned for our sins. It doesn't matter whether that fact is accepted or not, the gift remains. It is in Him whose love we all have, that we find our foundation for true joy such as I was granted today. When we have that foundation, then the forces of evil cannot have power to harm us, and we cannot fall.
Helaman 5:12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
God's commandments are given because He wants us to experience this kind of joy, eternally.
I love you all so much. You, our family, come first in our hearts as parents, grandparents and great grandparents! And I am sure that when we graduate, you will continue to come first along with all of those who will follow in our family circle. I pray that you will all feel our love, even then.
In all that truly matters, we are always and forever "on your side"!!
All my love,
Mom/Gma
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Love:
Hi All:
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, believe it or not! Sometimes it kind of, almost, hurts. I’ve known and said many times that “Love is the Answer” to almost every problem we face in this life; if we really understood and knew how to use it in our lives and relationships.
When Mom and I were discussing our lives, one time, while I was trying to figure out how she had been so strong and continued to love me even during our most difficult times, she made the statement that she knew who I really was; a very strange comment it seemed to me. How could she know that, when I was living and demonstrating such an unworthy life?
Free Agency, while necessary for our growth and progress seems to almost work against our relationships and families; however if we knew who our loved ones are instead of what they are we could give them a chance to learn from their mistakes and grow into who they really are. It is hard to keep in mind that no matter what they are at this point that they are a child of God and due to the Atonement can yet overcome the natural man, which they are, here in this existence and truly become who they are…a child of God.
The road is rough for all of us and even rougher for some. We had the opportunity to observe this truth, not only from our own personal experiences but through our Addiction Recovery Mission and those who killed John for some drug money.
What I’m trying to get across is that we all are God’s children and we all have weaknesses. Some are hard to see and seem inconsequential but sin is sin and all would keep us from returning to our Father without our partaking of the gift of the Atonement!
As I witness the difficulties that many in our family are experiencing I could easily get very depressed and some might say it would serve me right. I can’t help but realize that my horrible example for many years is bound to have had an effect on all our family; yet hopefully I can be forgiven by them as well as the Lord through his Atonement for all who will partake of it.
I want you all to know that I love you and would encourage all, no matter what circumstances you are in at the present, to remember to look at your mates, children, friends and all you know as God does and love them, no matter what; that doesn’t mean accept all they do and what they are at this time, just continue to love them and encourage them to take advantage of the Saviors gift to all.
I sometimes get concerned about how the Lord is going to straighten out my life but I’ll leave it up to him. I know that he is aware of the love I have for all of my offspring and the desire for them all to prosper and grow, and for us to all be together in his Kingdom.
Well I guess that is about it for now. I only ask that you all consider what I have been trying to say here and remember the commandments, keep them and when you stumble repent and turn around.
Love one another for who they are and not what they seem to be at this time. Repentance is the first step in taking advantage of the Atonement.
Love one another through thick and thin, no matter what.
Love Dad / GrandPap
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Dover Stories
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Sunday New Edition
We've had a trying 10 days, at least trying for Dad who is having to take
care of me. I twisted my knee (I didn't FALL, though!) trying to adjust
the back swing. I had been having trouble with that knee for about two
weeks, and then when I twisted it, it "POPPED" so loud I couldn't believe
it came from ME. The pain was excruciating...I couldn't even put an
ounce of weight on it. Glenn, this was about an hour after I told you I
was doing very well! I was so encouraged when I talked to you;. I have
been swinging on the backswing and riding my bike, and it gave that knee
quite a bit of relief, so I thought it was getting well.
I didn't want to go to the hospital emergency because I was so afraid
they would tell me I had to have a new knee! I just don't want any more
surgery if I can help it...that's why I was so happy with the progress I
thought I was making with the backswing and the bike. I will see our
family Dr. this week and see if I can at least do some walking in an
effort to try and strengthen it.
Chuck has been doing all the cooking and dishes, all the mowing and most
of the trash gathering. He is a very big help, especially right now.
Gpa/Dad has been working on his new flyin' machine, in between his
wife-babying activities. He's only been up a couple of times this year,
I think! The red tape with the FAA now that they have to have "N"
numbers, is terrific. He has to go to Tooele to get his inspection and
training to finalize his license, and he couldn't do that until he got
his "N" number, so it is taking months to get everything done.
Years ago, I happened to strike up a conversation with a woman in the
Salt Lake Family History Library. Before long, she mentioned that she
lived in Dover, Delaware! I asked her if she was LDS, and she was, so
then I told her that we had been in that branch when we were baptized.
It was so amazing, because I don't usually get involved in conversation
with anyone when I am doing research there. We moved from that branch
the month before she and her family moved IN! She told me she was
writing a history of the Dover Branch and Ward! We knew a lot of the
same people, of course, so it was really fun talking to her. I told her
a couple of our stories from our Dover Days, and she included those in
her history This past week, I received a copy of that history! It was
so fun to read! We found out a lot about what had happened to those we
had been so close to.
One very interesting thing was about the little boy who was trapped under
the garage door and saw and/or heard birdies while he was unconscious.
I'm sure you have all heard that story. Well, he was the son of a couple
in the Dover Ward! We didn't know them, but that was fun to find out.
I'm making all of you a copy of it (at least the 5 of you who were there
with us.) as soon as I can. It is 91 pages long, so it will take a few
days! Or maybe I can scan it. Would Cute PDF take a lengthy document
like that, Glenn? It was sure fun for us!
Connie, Sarah, Jaycee and Callee were here to visit last night while Dad
was at the Temple. I really enjoyed having them....kind of a rare chance
when they get to come!
I was so sorry to miss the two blessings last Sunday. I don't like to
miss that kind of thing in our family! Those babies are all so darling.
Dad and Chuck are home from church, so I'll quit and eat the dinner Chuck
has made for us! We always love to hear how each of you are doing, and
LOVE the stories about your little ones!
Love to all,
Mom